concoursec | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Character(s):

watertides
Location: Zuko's dorm
Rating: Uh. PG?
Open/Closed/Finished: Closed
Summary: Hours after this. Katara goes to speak with Zuko about what was left unfinished in Home EC.

It was just after dinnertime. Zuko had left the Home Ec. class early with permission from his Instructor. He had finished his gardening project and had promised his teacher he would revise his notes after his physical therapy session with Dr. Kadowaki. His schedule had looked something like this: Home Ec, physical therapy with the doctor for an hour and a half, a walk to the showers and then to the Cafeteria to grab some food, then a walk back to his room where his tray of food sat untouched on the table.

The words exchanged with the waterbender earlier had left a sour taste in his mouth and his stomach churning. He had practically accused her of being no better than Ozai, something he shouldn't have done. Zuko knew she was a good person deep down. Well, he didn't know but he had a pretty good feeling considering she'd been there to take care of him and help with the pain most of the beginning he was on the mend.

It wasn't easy to find the words to explain his thoughts properly. Not to her.

Golden eyes opened to glare at the five thick candles that sat in front of him on a low table. He was trying to meditate, a towel rolled up to hang around his neck, his hair still wet from his shower. It was frustrating, how his thoughts were distracting him from being able to find peace in the simple act of meditation.

"Why isn't this working...?!" he then growled out, jaw clenching. The flames on each of them rose a little higher, flickered, and then lowered again.

Zuko exhaled, irritated, and closed his eyes to try again.

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"I already told you I don't expect you to understand!" he snapped back, his own temper sparking at her outburst and causing the candles to come to life, their small flames flickering. "You of all people-- you who is undoubtedly a good person deep down and caring enough that you would actually help your enemy-- I'm not saying you should be justifying yourself.

"You lashed out for the same reasons he did. And I get that."

"What is it that I don't understand? I can't understand if you don't tell me what I'm not getting!" She hated it when people expected her to be able to just read between the lines-- how was she supposed to help if she didn't know what was wrong?

And most of all, why did she even want to help?

Katara cast the thought aside though, and instead looked up at Zuko with a stern expression.

"Punishment," Zuko all but growled, hands balling into fists at his sides, not once looking away from her 'stern' expression.

The word seemed to stretch out between them, filling the tense silence. Realization soon dawned on Katara, and when she did she looked up at Zuko her eyes were soft, her brows furrowed slightly.

"He scarred you as punishment...?"

"For speaking without thinking." He gave a curt nod, his eyes guarded and hard. Always the complete opposite as her.

"What happened?" The question was asked before Katara realized it, and once it was out in the open she couldn't help but look surprised as well. But she shifted her gaze downward soon after. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

Zuko was also pretty surprised at the abrupt question.

He stared down at her, silent for a few moments, and then tore his gaze away to the side. "There was a war meeting with the generals years ago," he began to explain, his voice going quiet. "I was too young to attend, but I insisted that my uncle let me with the idea that if I'm to rule the Fire Nation one day, I should prepare early, and he did. Under the condition that I keep quiet."

Edited 2010-09-07 23:31 (UTC)

Katara had expected Zuko to demand that she'd leave, so she was plenty surprised when he began to tell her about the fateful event. She lifted her eyes to look up at him, her head giving a small nod every now and then to indicate she was listening to his every word.

"And then...?"

His mood and look, if possible, darkened.

"One of the generals spoke of using one of the newer divisions as a sacrifice against the Earth Kingdom. I wasn't lying when I said I had been naive and stupid, Katara. I did what my uncle had warned me not to do - I spoke out against the General and his plan, demanding to know why he would betray them by using them as bait that way. My words alone were considered treason; I had disrespected the General and through disrespecting him, I had disrespected my own father."

Again his gaze drifted off to the side, lowering to the floor between them as he recalled the memory and his feelings all those years ago.

"I was arrogant and ignorant. An Agni Kai was issued. I told the General I wasn't afraid. Days later I was in the arena, back to back with him. My sister and my uncle stood in the crowds; everyone was present. The gong was hit and it was time to rise and face each other.

"I was prepared. I was more than prepared. I was ready to prove myself not just to my father but to everyone there. The man at the other end of the arena wasn't the General; it was my father..."

Edited 2010-09-08 00:30 (UTC)

"But you were only looking out for your people!" Katara couldn't believe what she was hearing-- she had always considered the Fire Nation to be a cruel country, but somehow this was a horror she hadn't even considered possible. "They shouldn't be treated as pawns-- just because they're soldiers doesn't mean that their lives are invaluable. You had every right to protest against their plans!

Your father should have defended you." Her words were almost a whisper now. "He shouldn't have punished you for showing compassion."

Zuko shook his head and his eyes met hers. She looked horrified. He didn't blame her.

"My father and I are completely different people. He believes to show emotion is to show weakness. In the Fire Nation, there's no room for either. I know him - he would have been more than willing to use the soldiers as bait to further his plans."

"Well, I'm glad you're different from your father-- he sounds like a cruel man." But then a thought crosses her mind, one that she's hesitant to vocalize but she can't help. "And even after all that, you still want to go back? You still want to capture Aang for his approval?"

Of course he hadn't expected her to understand.

"When my father stripped me of my title, he also stripped me of my honor. In order for me to regain it all back, the Avatar was needed. I give my father the Avatar and in return he gives me back all that he'd taken from me."

"And the next time your father has plans to kill off his troops for a meaningless war, you'll just stand by and watch it happen? You won't stand up to him again? You'll let your people die?" Her fingers were curling to fists at her side. Why was it so hard to him understand the right thing to do?

Because he's confused. He's mad about being confused, and it's all because he doesn't know what's right from wrong anymore. It's something his father's to blame for, again, having pushed Zuko to such boundaries by turning against him and forcing him into exile, making him the impression that everything cruel and wrong is, in reality, right.

"Of course not!" he suddenly shouts at her, her words striking a nerve. The flames at the candles spike dangerously high behind him. "You think because I look like this- because I look like a monster- that I am one?"

Zuko points to his left cheek, nostrils flaring with his heavy breathing.

"I am not my father, Katara."

And for once, Zuko's shouting didn't anger her-- in fact, Katara seemed rather pleased with his reaction. Her expression softened and her fingers uncurled at her sides as her anger slowly dissipated, the tension in her shoulders evaporating as they slumped down.

"I know." Katara said quietly. Her eyes shifted downward for a moment as she tried to find the right words to say. "But your words can only mean so much. You need to show me-- show us that you really mean it."

Her gaze rose to meet his.

"You have to stop hunting after Aang."

The flames wavered then lowered.

Zuko closed his eyes and brought his good arm up, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "If you haven't noticed," he then spoke up, that hand lowering to gesture to his right arm, "I'm a little broken right now."

Her eyes followed the movement and she couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Right, right." She returned her gaze to him, and as much as she tried to suppress it, the hopeful look on her face wouldn't fade.

"Does that mean you'll stop? Because I swear," Katara took a step closer to Zuko, her expression hardening to a look of utmost seriousness, "You make one step backward, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang... and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I'll make sure your destiny ends right then and there... permanently. "

His eyes narrowed slowly.

Normally people take one step back when someone stepped closer, but not Zuko. She stepped towards him as if to emphasize on her threat; Zuko stepped towards her, their torsos nearly brushing, they were that close.

"Is that a threat?" he wondered out loud, not taking his eyes from hers.

Katara tilted her head up due to his towering height and her attempt to look menacing-- he didn't intimidate her. The defiant look in her eyes never faded as she stared up at him.

"It's a promise." Her words were calm, showing just how serious she was about the matter.

Out of nowhere his left arm came up, fingers firmly grasping her by her chin. "You shouldn't make promises you might not be able to keep," he warned in a low tone, leaning down.

Their faces were close, his nose brushing hers.

It wasn't until Katara felt his fingers curl around her chin did she realize just how close they were. There was an involuntary intake of breath when his nose brushed hers, and she willed the pounding in her chest to stop.

"You shouldn't underestimate me." She was surprised that her voice came out clear and strong, no hint of the fluttering that her stomach was currently experiencing.

It was tempting. So tempting. And by Agni, Zuko wanted nothing more than to give in, in spite of the past week's events, all the frustration, the confusion he felt whenever around her, and the hurt from his injury. The dream-like memory he'd had of her had given him a glimpse of her childhood, of her home and part of the devastation caused by the war. Also - it wasn't the right moment. Of course no one ever knew when the 'right moment' was, but he knew that it wasn't right now. No matter how good she smelled or how ... pretty she could be at times~~all the time~~.

...This moment wasn't it.

If Zuko ever got the chance to look back on this moment, he would wonder to himself how he had resisted the urge not to close the small gap between them, feeling her breath play over his lips and chin, her lips there and too close for comfort.

"I'm hardly scared of a little girl," he returned the clear, strong tone, although quieter and raspier than hers.

Zuko reluctantly released her chin, reaching down to take her hand as he straightened somewhat. "Next time you feel the need to hit my face-" He brought her hand up to lightly press her fingers to the lower portion of his scar. "-hit the other cheek. Got it?"

Edited 2010-09-08 03:14 (UTC)

Her head was practically in a daze when Zuko released her chin, and she didn't realize what he was doing until she felt him bring her hand to rest her fingers against his scarred cheek. The simple gesture was enough to remind her of the first time she had ever touched his scar in the Catacombs beneath Ba Sing Se.

Hesitantly, she let her fingers brush against the scar tissue, feeling the glossy, rigid texture beneath her fingertips. Her thumbed brush the area where the darker scar tissue around his eye met the pinker flesh of the cheek until she let her palm rest against the majority of the scar that covered the side of his face.

"I'm sorry."

Katara wasn't sure what she was apologizing for, but it felt like the right thing to say at the moment.

While her fingers explored the uneven skin Zuko slid his hand to lightly rest at the crook of her wrist. Her skin was soft, his hand nothing but calluses and skin roughened and dried by the many years of firebending. His lashes lowered at the feel of her thumb beneath his eye. The candles extinguished completely, the same scent from earlier drifting along the air.

Katara was a waterbender; her abilities were capable of creating and restoring life. The memory of the healing water against his shoulder had been soothing, relaxing. It had put him at ease when it should have done the exact opposite considering their opposing elements. Not only that, it didn't matter whether their tempers flared - she was still able to calm him in the end no matter how mad he got.

"After I had woken up and realized what had happened," he started to speak, "I was infuriated. I remembered what you had done and then I had remembered what I had said." His eyes opened and he shook his head, looking down at her. "It didn't matter in the end. I was too incensed by the sheer fact alone that what you'd served as 'punishment', intentional or not, had made you no better than him."

Zuko paused, looking a little sheepish, lips quirking briefly into a small smile. "Uh- though I wouldn't exactly call you a monster."