concoursec | log; closed

Entry tags:

log; closed

Character(s): Katara, Zuko
Location: A hallway, eventually moving to somewhere more private to talk
Rating: PG-13
Open/Closed/Finished: Closed
Summary: Backdated to March 2nd; Aang asked Katara to the dance, Katara accepted, Aang bragged to his best buddy, Zuko, about how he had a date for the dance. Stuff happened between Katara and Aang. Zuko and Katara take to avoiding one another like the plague; insert confused, conflicted feelings; and now it's two and a half weeks later...

With two textbooks under his arm and his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants, Zuko unhurriedly made his way for the boys’ dormitory. Classes were now over for the day, and thankfully so. He didn’t think he could handle anymore today, having to see her there a few seats off from him. It was a good thing they didn’t have any more group projects to do together, that would have just made things even more awkward than they had already been since the Valentine’s Day dance two and half weeks back. Just thinking about it still had the firebender sulking and not in the best of moods; it still grated on his nerves that Katara had accepted Aang’s offer for the dance, but why should it?

As far as Zuko was concerned, she and the Avatar were friends. Good friends. Too close for his liking anyways. But it was more than that, as she had been the one to find the Avatar in the iceberg in the South Pole, and they had traveled around the world together with her brother, Sokka, to help with the boy’s quest. So it made more sense that she would willingly go with him and have fun, didn’t it?

Augh.

If only he had thought of asking her himself, of beating Aang to the punch sooner.

What in Agni’s name was wrong with him?

This was so frustrating! So confusing! Why wasn’t Uncle around to help give him advice? Because he didn’t want to betray his friend, Zuko was just betraying his feelings in the end and lying to himself. And for what?

This was so stupid!

Aang had seemed so happy that lunch hour when he’d gone to tell Zuko of the good news, that Katara was going to go with him to the dance. He had been so happy that it had served to put Zuko in the worst mood possible for the remainder of that day, and then the days and weeks to follow after that. Zuko had kept to himself most of the time shortly after that, regretting the gifts he’d sent out to Katara unsigned at Toph’s insistence.

Had she even received them? Did she know they were from him? No, impossible.

Did she even care?

It bothered him that every time their eyes did catch, they were averted immediately after. And her smile— Zuko had begun to notice it missing. She never smiled at him anymore, and when he did catch her smiling at others, it never reached her eyes. Almost as if her smile was for show.

Zuko turned to enter the hallway, his thoughts heavily distracted and his brows deeply knit. His lips were pressed in a thin, hard line, funny because that was how he wore his expression whenever his mind wandered back to Valentine’s Day. He tried to think of the cats and how big they’d gotten since he’d adopted them into his dorm. They were now eating solid food so there was no need for him to have to rely on Katara all the time for the milk, thank the Spirits, but it did mean having to go into town to discreetly purchase some cat food every two weeks. Which wasn’t too bad considering it was probably better for Zuko to get out of Garden now and then.

Each time he returned to his empty room, he would pause in front of the door and stare down at the floor. Zuko remembered, every time, the basket that had sat there with his name on it waiting for his return, for him to take it inside. A pleasant surprise it had been, however, it had been left unsigned. He hadn’t touched the package since; suspicious about the small, stuffed little otter-penguins cuddling each other that looked to have been sewn. Next to it, a box of something that he assumed was chocolate given the holiday...

Having received enough for Valentine’s Day, Zuko didn’t want to have to open any more packages. He really doubted he was going to eat all the candies and chocolates he’d gotten, not the sort of guy to possess a sweet tooth unless it was for ash bananas.

But those otter-penguins— Zuko was only aware of hybrid animals from his world. And he really doubted Aang of all people was going to sew him some stuffed little plushies. The same went for Toph given she was blind. And so … that left only Katara, but that didn’t make any sense!!

To this day he wondered who could have thought to leave him something at his dorm, the gesture more personal to him than having a cadet deliver it to him while he was in the middle of a course. But Zuko had left the gift untouched to sit on the common area table of his dorm near the chicobo nest of clothing.

Ah well.

Almost there, almost reaching the hallway dividing the boys’ and girls’ dormitories.

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Things had changed. Who would have thought that she would be standing here, in Zuko's dorm, having this discussion? Then again, Sokka had always insisted that they were friends from his time, and so had Toph as well as Aang... while some things changed, others seemed to remain the same.

Nonetheless, it was all too much information for Katara to digest. Her thoughts were all a jumble now, and she couldn't figure out how she felt. Angry with him for kissing her so suddenly? Happy that he had admitted to liking her? Ashamed because Aang apparently liked her as well? Anger always seemed like a proper emotion to channel everything into... so she pointed her finger towards him, brows furrowed.

"You can't just... just kiss me out of nowhere! Haven't boys ever heard of courting?"

Zuko's experience with 'courting' was ... not all there. Maybe one day he would let her in on that piece of information. If they got that far together.

"Courting? What about it?" Of course he was familiar with the term, it was often used in the Fire Nation. Courting, dating, wooing, romancing, yeah it was all there. Zuko was no stranger to it.

"And hey-- why can't I? I like you, that should be good enough reason to kiss you! Are you telling me you didn't like it?" There was that hard look again, furrowed brows, set jaw, amber eyes watching her with such intensity.

She was not going to answer his last question.

Instead, she focused on the first portion of his words, her brow furrowing as she tried to figure out whether he was just playing dumb or what. "You court people you like! You have to show them that you really like them, not just... just tell them or kiss them! Actions speak louder than words. How do I know you're sincere about this?" Perhaps if she hadn't experienced the whole situation with Jet pretending to like her so that he could use her to get back at Fire Nation, she would have thought differently. But thanks to him, she had to be much more guarded; it had hurt, especially when he had been the first person she had really liked.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that. Sure Zuko probably didn't seem like the most sincere person, or the type of guy to experience good feelings only the negative ones, but this was something he'd been so sure of for a while now. And now Katara was questioning it?

"Why wouldn't I be sincere about this? It's not every day I go up to someone and tell them, 'Hey, you- yeah you- I like you'. And no, I don't make it a habit of going around and kissing people," Zuko thought it was best to add, shifting his weight restlessly.

This was kind of an embarrassing topic to discuss so openly, even if they were in the privacy of his dorm room.

"...you don't believe me? Is that it?" Half a beat. "Or am I alone in this and you don't... like me..."

Ugh. Just thinking along those lines was not helping him right now, and it showed as the firebender began to close himself off, to prepare himself for the disappointment. It had already been bad enough that she hadn't answered him about the kiss.

"I do... I mean, I don't know!" She was becoming more and more confused, and she didn't like it at all. Maybe if Aang hadn't kissed her after the dance, this would have been a lot easier. And while she knew that a part of her did like Zuko, she couldn't help but also feel ashamed after finding out Aang's feelings for her. Aang was her friend; she didn't want to crush him. But it wouldn't be fair for either of them if she pretended to like him as well, when she knew that her feelings were for a certain firebender.

"It's just-- all we do is argue and fight! So-- so you have to court me and show me that you really do like me. Because everything we've been doing doesn't really lead me to believe you do." Never mind the fact that he had stayed with her that one night when she had been too sick to even walk back to her bed, having passed out in his arms only to wake up and find him laying next to her.

Such a confusing response. A part of him told him to just accept it, to not push her for a straight one. But who was Zuko to actually think before speaking or doing anything?

"That's not true, it's not just all about the arguing and fighting. Did you forget the time I uh took care of you? What about the time you took care of me? I guess it didn't mean anything, did it?"

The two steps back earlier ended up being just one as Zuko stepped forward.

"It's either you do or you don't, Katara. I can't court you unless I know for sure you feel the same way as I do." What would be the point then? To him it would be pointless. Better to just back off, retreat to lick his wounds and forget about everything, right?

"Of course I haven't forgotten--!" How could she forget? Sometimes she found herself waking up only to peek over to the side of the bed and remember him sleeping next to her, a memory that had been ingrained in her mind despite her hazy state of illness. Her cheeks flushed again at the memory, and his sudden step forward, closing the gap between them didn't help matters.

"I..." She had to tilt her chin up to properly look up at him, her blue eyes filled with uncertainty. "I... do, but it's kind of complicated, okay?"

The uncertainty in her eyes made him pause, made him feel uncertain. It went against what she was telling him, leaving him with a mixture of jumbled feelings, mixed signals. Augh, they were back to the MIXED SIGNALS thing again.

Zuko reached for her hand, hesitantly slipping his fingers beneath hers on her arm, curling around hers to tug her hand free. "...okay." Was he only holding her hand to show his support as a friend? Or was it more than that?

"How complicated are we talking here?" Her fingers felt cold in his gentle grip but that was probably because his own body temperature was above average for a human being, being a firebender and all. "Uh- or we don't have to talk about it..."

Her eyes lowered to where his large hand gripped her smaller one, and Katara decided that she liked the way the warmth of his body was traveling into hers through the simple touch. She remained silent for several moments, contemplating what to tell him-- if she should even tell him.

"I think... Aang likes me." That was enough information, wasn't it? Nonetheless she kept her gaze downward to avoid his gaze, shame already heating her cheeks as she thought back to the dance.

"...you think? Or you don't know for sure?"

The news shouldn't have been as surprising to him coming from her as it had been once it had dawned on Zuko the lunch hour Aang had rushed over to tell him about Katara and the dance.

He should let the Avatar have the girl, shouldn't he? That would be the honorable thing to do. It would be dishonorable to step in and 'court' her if he knew his friend had a thing for her, almost like snatching candy out of a babe's grasp.

Zuko's fingers tightened briefly on hers. "I think he does, too," was his slow and quiet response, and Zuko dropped his own gaze, letting it linger on their hands.

There was another pause of silence. If he was sincere about this, if he really did like her, she at least owed him the truth, didn't she...? It was bad enough that she already felt guilty having been kissed by both Zuko and Aang, and she should at least let him know everything that had happened the night of the dance.

"Well..." Another pause as uncertainty flooded her yet again. "Aang... he sort of kissed me, after the dance."

More surprising news! Zuko had been all the more surprised to hear that, not at all expecting to hear that Aang, someone who was much younger than him, had taken things a step further than just asking her to join him at the dance. Aang was obviously a lot braver than him, kissing girls at only thirteen...

Did that mean she liked Aang's kiss better? Did she prefer the Avatar over him? Everyone wanted the Avatar over him--

All sorts of questions were racing through his mind, while all sorts of emotions were causing his chest to tighten uncomfortably or turned his throat and mouth dry. "...I see." His fingers relaxed to gradually release her hand. He bit the inside of his cheek. "Does that mean you don't want me to court you...?"

His hands went back into his pockets. Suddenly Zuko was feeling so unsure; the way they were acting, awkward and shy, doubtful and maybe even insecure - it wasn't helping either of them.

"No--" The response had come out faster than even she had expected, and Katara was momentarily surprised at her answer. Well, that was that, wasn't it?

She glanced up at him as he pulled his hands away, the warmth immediately receding and the cool chill of the room settling in on her again. "It's just... well, I guess we'd have to tell Aang about it, right?" She crossed her arms again now, and the uncertain expression returned. "I don't want to hurt Aang; he's one of my best friends. But it wouldn't be fair to him if he didn't know about... the courting."

That was that. It was decided.

Because Zuko had nowhere else to put his hands and didn't know what to do with them he shoved them back into his pockets. From his left foot to the right, the firebender awkwardly shifted his weight at the topic. Aang, courting, hurting him.

"He's my friend, too, Katara..." his voice was quiet. "And it isn't like I want to hurt him. I didn't... I didn't plan for this to happen." And it was the truth, Zuko could hardly figure out the why and how he had ended up getting feelings for her.

Edited 2011-04-22 11:37 (UTC)

Katara nodded, her own eyes falling to the ground to stare at her feet. "I don't think any of us planned for this to happen," she admitted with a small shrug. It was in that moment that the kittens decided they had finished with their meal and began to paw their way back to the pair, circling both their feet and attempting to climb up the thick fabric of their sweatpants.

Needless to say, the air was still slightly awkward between them.

"So... what now?"

Feelings, what a strange, difficult concept.

"I'm uh- I'm not really sure." That was a hard question to answer.

Thank goodness for the cats and distractions.

Zuko looked down to the felines, watching their attempts, wincing when Boots dug his claws in a little too deep into his calve as he tried to climb up. Lucky for Katara that she was wearing shorts and didn't have to suffer the sharp kitty claws.

What now..?

The exiled prince asked himself that same question over and over, jaw setting. How easy would it be to walk away and put this and their feelings behind them? Could he forget kissing her, how her mouth had felt on his?

There was a sound of frustration from him.

"Close your eyes," he spoke without thinking again, his voice quietly commanding with a lingering hint of hesitance.

His words surprised her, drawing her attention away from the kittens to tilt her chin up to have her eyes meet with the firebender's. A silence passed between them as Katara considered his command; while usually she might have been peeved at how he was basically telling her what to do, there was an odd softness to his voice. What was he up to? Was he going to try and kiss her again?

The thought had her body flooding with nervousness. Hadn't this been exactly what she told him not to do? That he had to at least try and court her first before moving onto more intimate gestures such as kissing? He had seemed to understand the point enough, but his request left her wondering. She trusted him, didn't she? Well, she had to, now-- she had practically thrown the suggestion of courting at him, and he had agreed.

Trying to relax her body, Katara straightened her back before her lashes fluttered shut, unsure of what else to do.

Kissing her was definitely an option, one Zuko greatly considered as he looked down at her once her lashes lowered to rest on her cheeks. He tilted his head and let his gaze roam, taking in her features, studying her face as he had during the rare moments of watching her sleep.

He caught himself just as he stepped in closer and had begun to lean down to do just that. Instead Zuko frowned to himself and stepped in once more to close the gap between them, one arm hesitantly wrapping around her shoulders.

What now? she had asked, as equally lost and confused as he was.

The firebender asked himself the very same question.

Zuko brought up his other arm to wrap around her, wrapping her up in a hug, oddly silent. His silence probably was not helping their situation and the tension between them; Katara made it seem like, because he was the boy that he had to initiate everything, take matters into his own hands with this whole courting business. Because he was unsure of how she would respond, thinking maybe Katara would shove him back as she had earlier with the kiss, Zuko held his breath, tense and braced for it, waiting.

Edited 2011-05-10 23:56 (UTC)

Katara stood nervously before him, her eyes still closed as her mind raced. She could feel Zuko take a step closer, could feel the heat that always rolled off of him closing in on her. She still had no idea what he was planning to do-- maybe he wasn't even going to do anything. The idea seemed to ingrain itself into her mind as seconds continue to pass, until Katara could feel embarrassment begin to well up in her; this was all a trick, wasn't it? Just as she had been about to open her eyes to snap at him did he make his unexpected maneuver, his arms looping around to pull her into a hug.

Her body stiffened for the briefest of moments as she tried to absorb the situation. This was definitely a surprise; Zuko certainly didn't seem like the hugging type. Katara, on the other hand, did, though she never thought she would one day be hugging Zuko of all people. But the warmth that naturally enveloped her in his embrace was something she discovered she liked, and after several moments she lifted her own hands to loop around his waist, returning the hug as her body relaxed.

This was no denying that this was nice.

Edited 2011-05-11 06:21 (UTC)

Not one to ever do the hugging thing, Zuko felt really awkward in spite of it being probably the best way to get across how he felt about the situation. On top of it they probably needed the hug, the contact and closeness. His mother and uncle had only ever been the ones to give hugs spontaneously, it felt like this was his first time hugging another human being that wasn't family.

Zuko tightened his hold, a simple squeeze of reassurance, light and gentle. Her hair brushed his brow and nose, pressed against his cheek. Her fragrance, whatever it was, it was... nice. Very nice.

This was ... comfortable. Not bad at all. He could get use to this.

One thing he was glad for was that she hadn't pushed him away, and was even more glad that she was returning the embrace and relaxing into him. What an odd feeling, to know that someone who was once a sworn enemy now trusted him and seemed secure in his arms.

...what would Uncle say?

Katara stood in his embrace for several moments longer, simply enjoying the warmth that enveloped her in a feeling of security. It was short lived, however, with several whining 'mewls' and the feel of something soft brushing up along her leg; pulling away just a bit to glance down, Katara was amused to see Boots continuing to climb up along the leg of Zuko's sweats, seemingly determined to gain back Zuko's attention.

Glancing up at him, Katara gave him a small smile before looking back down at Boots, giggling lightly. "Someone wants to get your attention."

Her smile caused something in his chest to flutter. That was a sensation he still had to get use to.

"I spoil them enough as it is," Zuko muttered and unwrapped his arms from her to lean down and detach the cat from his pant leg, hissing to himself at how Boots's nails caught in his skin.

He held the purring cat in his hands and held it out for Katara to take, frowning.

Her own arms dropping to her sides, Katara watched at Zuko leaned down to unlatch the kitten from his leg, the amused expression never leaving her face. She only lit up further when he presented the pretty cat to her, the two pair of blue eyes gazing at one another before Katara leaned closer to coo.

"You're a big cat now, aren't you? Not the tiny little Boots I remember." Carefully Katara took hold of the cat before shifting the animal to rest comfortably in her arms, a hand stroking the thick fur along its back.

"It's better that Pocket isn't as small, means he can't hide in my uniform pockets anymore." Zuko crossed his arms over his chest, watching how the cat responded to her petting and cuddled closer against her chest.

"I remember seeing Pockets poking out of your uniform pocket a couple of times during class," Katara commented with a smile as her hand continued the soothing rhythm of petting Boot's fur. "It's too bad-- it was really cute."

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