concoursec | (no subject)

Character(s): Arthur and Merlin
Location: Arthur's dorm
Rating: PG13 at most.
Open/Closed/Finished: Closed.
Summary: After Gwen's unexpected arrival, Arthur needs a bit of guidance. Or at the least, someone to vent his ~~feelings~~ troubles to.

Arthur had already been searching for Merlin before running across Gwen in the lobby, but now he had much more on his mind than his servant's apparent lack of ability to be anywhere that Arthur tried to find him. He eventually wound up back at his dorm, and rather than continue searching or go back to Gwen, he stayed there and sat pensively at his desk. Surely someone would help her. Hopefully not someone too magical.

Now alone with his thoughts, he still could hardly believe it. Gwen, here in Balamb... he'd entertained the occasional heroic fantasy of finding a way back to Camelot, but not her coming here. And certainly not from so far in the past. But that was the reality of it.

And he had no idea what to do.

This sort of uncertainty always left him with a bad taste in his mouth. He hated the taste of self-doubt, working its way through his gut like acid, a repeat of his pining after her during her exile and a small sample of the crippling feeling he'd been left with after losing Camelot to Agravaine and Morgana.

But this was foolish, surely. This was a simple matter: tell her the truth. Of her future. Surely she'd have to accept it. After all, it had already happened, for him. It was fate.

But he couldn't be certain of that, and that was the root of the problem. He was afraid of what could happen if he said the wrong thing, botched things between them again, maybe for good this time. If he told her all that had happened to her in the gap between their timelines, could she really accept any of it? Did he even want to try, knowing the pain it would cause?

Whenever Merlin arrives, Arthur's too lost in thought to notice, staring hard at some random point on the wall.

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By now, Merlin had also run into Gwen himself, and he knew just how much of a disaster this was. Well - not completely. Merlin had seen the beginning of Arthur and Gwen's relationship, but he hadn't seen Gwen become Queen. But the very fact that Arthur had married her was proof enough of how much she meant to him.

Quietly Merlin slid into the room, not saying a word as he started to clean up a bit around the place. Almost like it was just a normal day, even though they weren't at Camelot.

"I met Gwen," he said finally. "She said she'd already seen you." He fell silent again for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Edited 2012-01-18 08:37 (UTC)

His head lifted slightly when Merlin spoke, the only indication that he hadn't noticed Merlin was in the room until then. He looked over his shoulder.

"You found her, then. I was trying to find you, you know. To show her around."

There was no bite to his tone, nor any of the reprimanding remarks he'd originally been storing up to unleash on Merlin for being so hard to find. He stood up, clasping his hands behind his back and discreetly clearing his throat.

"How is she taking... everything?"

Merlin bit his lip anxiously, still tidying up Arthur's books and clothes. He'd almost have preferred being reprimanded. That at least was normal, and might have meant that Arthur was okay.

This, though...this did not look like Arthur was okay.

"Fine, she's...fine. Well, a bit confused, but then I think everyone is when they arrive here," he said.

"Right, of course. This place most certainly is confusing, especially to start."

He briefly watched Merlin tidying up. Then he sat down on his bed with a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

"She shouldn't be here. I never thought... I wasn't prepared for something like this to happen."

Maybe he'd regret voicing his thoughts to Merlin later, but Merlin was someone he always knew he could trust- and as things were, possibly the only person he could trust in this place. Aside from Gwen of course, but considering she was the center of his current dilemma...

"You may be from my past, but for you it's a simple matter of catching up on events. But Gwen- we're supposed to be married. That isn't something I can just thrust upon her."

"I'm not sure we can ever be prepared in this place," Merlin said. He hadn't expected Gwen either. And if it hadn't been for Rapunzel mentioning how other people from their homes could also appear here, he wouldn't have even expected anyone from Camelot to show up.

"If you're meant to be together, it won't matter that Gwen's from your past," Merlin said. "Maybe...maybe Gwen will need some time, but she cares for you, I know she does. And isn't it better to let her know, so that she knows what's happening? Arthur, she thinks she's done something wrong."

"It's not that simple, Merlin."

As much as he wished it was. Years ago, he might have agreed with him wholeheartedly.

"I'm not yet the king my father was. I've made mistakes. And Gwen..." He didn't even know how to begin explaining what had happened between her and Lancelot, and he didn't much want to try. He'd done his best to put it behind him, but it still stung to think about.

"The point is, it's a delicate matter. But... perhaps I will speak to her again, to assure her that she's done nothing wrong." A pause. "Later."

"Arthur, you'll be a great King, no matter what mistakes you make. But that doesn't even matter, does it? You've said it yourself; you're not King here," Merlin said. If he'd known about Gwen and Lancelot...well, he'd still want to try and reunite her with Arthur, but he would have taken a different approach.

He still wasn't entirely used to the fact that Arthur had two years of history that Merlin knew nothing about.

"Think about it, Arthur. Isn't this a chance? And opportunity to be together without having to hide, or worry about the fact that you're a King and she's a servant?"

"Is it? You forget that for me, she's no longer a servant, but the Queen of Camelot. That nonsense is behind us... was, behind us. Before this happened." Ugh, time shenanigans.

"This is most certainly a chance. A chance to ruin our relationship before it has truly begun, in her eyes. She... went through many trials and hardships, before I made her my queen. If I tell her everything that happens in her future, I don't know what she'll think. All I know for certain is that it will hurt her."

He stood up, pacing to the other side of the room and stopping there a moment before turning to face Merlin.

"Maybe it's selfish of me. But... I couldn't bear to lose her again."

"If she got through those trials in her future and still loves you despite them all, what makes you think she'd change her mind this time?" Merlin said, trying to reason with him. There was just something wrong with seeing Arthur doubt himself like this, and it tore at Merlin.

"If you don't want to love her, then show her what she means to you. Show her that you're willing to go through courting her all over again, because that's how much she means to you."