concoursec | Food! is! Energy!

Characters: Champloo and any who encounter him!
Location: The quad
Rating: PG
Open/Closed/Finished: Open! Very open!
Summary: Champloo, seeking to expand his mastery of the Kitchen Fist, has set up several tables of exotic dishes and is seeking out those who walk by.

The scent of cooking filled the quad today -- dozens of different aromas, both mundane and exotic, with hints of spices mixing through the firm, solid smells of meat and fish. Several tables creaked under the weight of dozens of dishes, stored under metal lids or still bubbling in a pot over a burner. Champloo darted amongst them, adding this pinch of powder here or stirring that pot there.

"I am conducting a study of dishes comprised of ingredients considered unusual on this world!" he called out to those passing by. "I require assistance in this matter! An empty mouth will overcome a closed mind, if food is offered with an open hand. Will you assist me?"

As strange as the Home Ec teacher might be, no one could deny his skill at cooking. Whatever he's served up might be worth the risk.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Espio is moping about, but seeing one of the crazy Home Ec instructors giving food out, well, investigation is clearly necessary, and questions are absolutely vital before trying anything.

"What kind of unusual are we talking about, here?" he asked, eyeing the food somewhat suspiciously. "And where did you get them from?"

"Anything that is not normally made into an ingredient is considered unusual -- a true shame! All ingredients deserve respect for their roles! That is why I have collected these in my spare time over the course of the trimester, painstakingly sampling them to understand their use and flavor!" He looked up and away in regret, remembering the dishes that he had so laboriously worked on. "Sadly, some of them could serve no purpose on a person's palate. Much of a Malboro's body, for example, tastes unpleasantly of ash!"

Oh. Oh dear. That didn't sound... good.

"I really don't think we're supposed to eat the monsters," Espio remarked, despite the fact he had done so himself on previous occasions. "They're probably full of status-inducing poisons."

"Hyahyahya! No doubt they said the same to the first person to cook a chicken!" Champloo said with a grin. He tapped the rim of a large pot with a ladle. "I have labored long and hard to commune with the heart of these ingredients. To do any less would be a disgrace!"

Two of Champloo's feasts was enough for Mikuru to trust his cooking. The odd smells and the anouncement of unusual ingredients did little to phase her, considering she'd had no idea what kinds of foods were served at Thanksgiving before attending it.

And so she approached, cheerfully intrigued.

"Is this a taste test?"

"Indeed, the taste shall be tested, boom!" Champloo folded his arms dramatically. "I have fought hard with these ingredients to coax a flavorful delight from even the most bland or ashen of corners."

Mikuru smiled politely and stepped closer to inspect one of the pots (what colorful food!) while she tried to guess what 'coax' meant from context. She was pretty sure it wasn't in her vocabulary, and she wasn't wearing her translator...

"What kinds of things did you do with them?"

"For example, these Marlboro tentacles were pan-fried in a flour and spice mixture!" he said, producing a basket of ring-like breaded meat. "However, the spice blend was tricky and required several tests to properly blend."

Marlboro... Those were poisonous, weren't they? Mikuru seemed to recall something of the sort from her World Bestiary class...

But hey, professional chefs cooked poisonous fish at home and it was only fatal in the rarest of cases. No, it was something else that made her pause mid-reach.

"Is it hot? I'm not very good with spicy foods..."

"The only heat in these dishes is that which burns from the passion of their ingredients!" Champloo declared proudly -- then added, "and a dash of pepper flakes where appropriate. However, there is much less of the latter than the former. Only your soul will be inflamed!"

"Okay!"

Mikuru picked out one of the Marlboro rings and took a small, careful bite. Her face went thoughtful as she chewed, trying to figure out the ingredients Champloo had used - and whether she liked it.

Edited (HOLY WRONG ICON, BATMAN) 2013-06-04 12:22 (UTC)

To Champloo's credit, the ring was as tender and moist as perfectly-prepared calamari, despite what one might think Marlboro would come out as. The flavoring was citrus and some curious form of pepper than almost stung on the tongue.

She swallowed, and had another bite before declaring, "It's really good! The flavoring's so interesting - kind of like lemon pepper but stronger?"

Eagerly, she finished off the current ring and took another.

"Excellent! I had worried that the base material might make anyone refuse to eat it, but I am glad to see an appreciation of the culinary arts extends to experimentation as well!"

"There used to be a traditional delicacy where I'm from that was a poisonous fish - so I thought, why not a poisonous monster?"

Mikuru looked askance at the table.

"I would have never thought to cook it myself, though," she said, with a touch of envy. "I wish I could be that brave in my cooking."

"Any person can come to understand the heart of cooking! There is no spice that cannot add its own particular burst of flavor!" Champloo said, encouragingly.

"Anyone, huh..." Mikuru murmured, staring at her Marlboro ring.

After a moment, she looked up abruptly, inspired.

"Would... would you be able to help teach me more about cooking? I took home economics as a cadet, but - most food's out of a packet when I'm from; hardly anyone knows how to cook by hand," she explained. "It's all so interesting, and I'd love to know more!"

"Hyahyahya, ahyahya! 'Will I teach her more about cooking, she says!" Champloo, grinning, clapped her broadly on the shoulder.

"At Evil Academy, the Home Ec. classroom was the stuff of legends! Hidden in the depths of the school like the prize in a box of cereal, only those most dedicated to understanding the heart of cooking would find it, and once there, they could not leave until they graduated -- or perished.

"However, this is not Evil Academy! The Home Ec. classroom is in the basement, and I would be happy to give you lessons you have a reasonable chance of surviving, boom!"

The description of Evil Academy's home ec classroom had Mikuru looking perturbed, but at the 'reasonable chance of surviving', she managed to salvage this into a shaky smile.

"Do you teach in the mornings? Or would the weekends be more convenient for you?"

Hey, he hadn't killed a student here yet...

"As Home Ec is an elective, the class is in the afternoon if you wish to audit it. However, a piece of bacon does not stop being made of pig if it is not in the pan! Therefore, at any time you wish to learn, I will teach!"

"I can't audit it," Mikuru admitted. "I teach a remedial class in the afternoons. So some sort of private class in the morning or on weekends would be great."

"A cook should always be able to be an ingredient! Do not worry!" He pointed a finger at her dramatically. "You shall serve outside the oven as well as in!"

Food! is! Energy!

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