concoursec | Backdated to the weekend Beach Party and Birthday Log! \o/

[PATS THATCH'S HEAD!]

Look. I love you bro, and I mean this in the nicest way possible.

But you need to get laid soon. Because if you don't? I'm worried I might have to kill you.

And I mean that in the nicest way possible. [Pats his cheeks. But seriously, he means it. Not the killing, because Thatch is still his soul mate or WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY ARE, but seriously, you are driving him crazy. You are tearing him apart, Thatchet!]

..............

[His head is ringing and he's frankly surprised he's not bleeding.

what the fuck.

seriously. He's never seen Marco like that over anyone. But that only means one thing-- Marco really freaking loves that woman. And he loves Marco. So he's not going to bring up the fact that the teasing they had done before had included threesomes. That Thatch was just asking and wasn't about to do anything like that anyway-- and him getting laid was none of Marco's goddamn business especially since it never could and would involve that woman]

Glad you think so highly of my loyalty, mate.

[finishes his rum]

Glad you love her, too. It's great. I have no intentions of going after her in any way shape or form.

So why don't you go flutter back to her and give her the attention she deserves.

[Punches Thatch again.]

Because you need to find a way to get along.

[......]

[And a low phoenix hissing growl, the rest is in phoenix too:] In a way that does not include eating her out you dumbfuck.

Great.

Freaking great.

Now I don't know if you're avoiding her because something happened, or if it's because you're worried something will.

Or is it both?

[that is it. He fists his hand into Marco's shirt and yanks him close]

I.

don't.

want.

to.

touch.

her.

Get that through your think skull, you damn phoenix. I don't have any desire to do anything to her! And she's yours, goddamnit! I know that! I wouldn't take that! Why do you even seriously think--

No...

No forget it. I don't want to know!

I don't want to know what you think because, apparently, you think I'm just going to up and do things to your wife--

[he pushes him back]

Well fuck you and fuck her and fuck everyone in this goddamn place except Namur and I'm being goddamn metaphorical about it!

[HEADBUTTS HIM HARD.]

Were you trying to joke and I didn't get it?! Then I'm sorry!

FUCK.

Everything's confusing.

[Both hands to his head to try to figure it out. Ah. Right. Thatch is more frustrated with being in the world than being around Grell, but the immortality thing and the world traveling thing --]

[Just tackles Thatch in a hug and refuses to let go.]

I'm sorry.

[Phoenix speak get:] I don't want to take you home. I need you. I don't want you to be this miserable and angry though! What do I do?

[Fuck. He meant to not cry but he gets it now and there's tears welling up anyway and bluh...]

Why can't I just fix it somehow? I missed you and I want you to be happy again. I wish everyone was together, and I know this isn't enough, but isn't it worth something?

[ah damnit, not the crying. Not those words. His head was still ringing from the damn pineapple to the head. He keeps his hands braced against the ground, looking out over the water]

Don't apologize, idiot. [since he'd probably deserved it anyway for everything else]

[he hesitates and then in a whistle] I'm dead
[it wasn't any easier to say it like that. The sound fell from the air like a stone and settled in the hollows of his chest]

Can't move forward, can't go back, maybe what's dead stays dead.

[and maybe Grell was right. Maybe Marco was too attached to sentiment. Well Thatch knew it. Saving a trinket or--even a stupid old man from a past that hardly mattered anymore-- was just foolish. Nothing but clinging on to dreams]

You're stupid.

[Glomps Thatch and clings on him, burying his face in Thatch's shoulder.]

The dead are never really gone so long as we hold onto them. You still don't know what she is, do you? Fuck, you're so dumb.

[Clings harder and wipes his eyes with his wrist and sleeve.]

You are always, always with me. Every fucking day. Whether I'm talking to a bird, or I see a pretty girl, your influence on me is never gone. Isn't that living? Isn't that what life is about?

But it's not enough for me, you know? I can't turn and ask you questions or heard your laugh back, only remember it.

You're dead, aye. But you're here too. Why are you trying to run away from living?

Thatch... Thatch [His name in a whistle. The first thing he ever taught Thatch in phoenix.] Stay with me you idiot. Let me save you a little longer. A day, a week, a month, a lifetime, it's better with you here than just in my heart.

[he doesn't regret it and he does. It's special to be remembered, but who wants someone missing you so much? The last thing he wants is Marco hurt and he's doing it at every turn. Can't stay. Can't go. Can't move forward or back. If he could he'd erase Marco's memory of him. Or maybe--just the one for now. No point reopening an old wound. He'd rather have stayed dead.]

I can't hurt you any more, mate. I fight with Grell over a stupid toy, Espio over colors. Freaking decorations. Toby is a nice kid and I want to help him but he doesn't really need me any more than you do. Or Namur does for that matter. You have a family here. A crew of your own. But I can't get used to their way and I'm too old to change.

[and he didn't want to. He would rather stay with those times where he was exactly where he belonged. Even if that wasn't as bright as he remembered. Loyalty and trust was a shakey thing. Too easily given, too quickly lost.]

[Grins softly.] So the Smoother became the Ruffler?

Maybe everyone needs their feathers ruffled a little. Remember how much at odds I felt about Ace when he first showed up?

Baka, you're so ridiculous, yoi.

[He switches to phoenix and gently nuzzles.] I will always need you in my life. And I always have. That will not go away with your death or lack of your presence. Nor does it grow more desperate while you are here. So long as you are here, you keep me smoothed. Why must you run? Why are you so afraid of me these days? Stay. I will protect you. Are you trying to protect me from you? You have always, and will only ever help me. I promise. Do not ask me to push you away, I cannot do it and I do not want to. I want you to stay. I want you to fight with Espio over colors and Grell over toys, and even fight with Toby over bunny girls. Are you so unable to adapt to no longer being the Smoother? Find a new place here. A new role.

I still need you. All of you. Heart, body, soul, and mind. Do not discard yourself so easily.

[you...cheating son of a bitch. He pulls Marco close and buries his face in the blue of his shoulder]

I don't need a new role, asshole and if you even suggest it again I'll fucking kick your ass to Raftel and back, you understand? I don't want to change. I want to be me and I want you to be you and I'll smooth over as many feathers as I ruffle so shut the hell up and stop using your damn bird on me or I'll pluck out all your feathers one by one and use them for a goddamned pillow.

[he may also have been crying. Just a little]

As if you could dumbass. Try it and I'll tug out your mop hair!

[Deadpan stare but you have three seconds before he laughs softly and rolls over to give Thatch all the snuggles.]

I'm serious though, yoi. Toby does need you. He's like all the most innocent parts of me and a non-grumpy early Ace. And even Grell could use your help. You're still my glue, stupid. Do you think I was just happy here and I found three people so I don't need anyone else? Without you in my life before, I never would have found them anyway. And if you didn't talk to Espio about colors, I'd probably be fighting with him right now! A lot worse than you did, I mean it. And if you hadn't come drinking with me, I wouldn't have told you, or realized any of it, much less how to deal with it. Jeez, it all moves too fast! I need you to help me figure it all out.

Stupid.

[Pecks and tugs on Thatch's clothes with his beak insistently.] I need you.

I love you.

My Thatchlet.

Shut up. Go away. I hate you. I'm not gong to look at your cute antics or listen either. [holds tighter and sniffs. He'll accept that in a moment. In a moment he will haul himself around. But just for a moment he's going to be a petulant little brat and Marco was going to have to sit there and take it]

Grell made me tell a secret over a-- [but wait a second. It had been a secret that Marco didn't know-- Except that Grell didn't keep secrets from Marco]

That clever little-- she played me so damn hard. [he threw back his head and laughed. laughed so hard he had to lay down] She just-- For a stupid-- oh god. And then you-- hahahaha pissed because hahahaha you thought I wanted her necter

You are so stupid I can't even-- We are both so stupid I don't even-- and my head hurts so much, you fucker.

Hey Marco, hey Marco, how was Grell's ne-necter this morning? [ah too much. couldn't breathe. He pounded the sand uselessly]

[Marco cocks his head to the side and slowly flushes bright red.]

Fantastic, thank you.

What are you laughing about?

I don't know but it hurts. It hurts and if I can't stop I'll die...again...pfft hahahahahaha [he clutches his stomach, breath wheezing out of him] ahh make it stop!

I don't know how, but you're really losing it.

[Switches back to human and folds his arms on Thatch's collarbone, still sitting on him mildly bewildered.]

What am I going to do with the lot of you?

[he feels weak. Weak and giddy and sad and warm and heavy all at once. But heavy like an anchor is when it's finally hit bottom. He pulls Marco up so he can bury his face against the side of his neck and wraps his arms around him]

Nothing to do but love us, aye, captain?

Aye.

[Snuggles.] How did I stop hating being called Captain? [Snuggles more. And it's because he knows it's meant with love. Love and trust and faith that he'll guide them through the roughest patches of darkness they have yet to face. And he will. He definitely will.]

When you had me for a first mate. [yeah. He's claiming it. Fight him. He knows it and you know it and that way he can take care of everyone while Marco does his thing.]

We'll change together, hm? Sail into the new world. And all of them.

Oh, all right.

[SUDDENLY Hybrid mode, tail out and swishing.]

But just because you're first mate doesn't mean you have to start acting old. Damn you didn't see it, but Benn Beckman doesn't have a black hair left on his head anymore. He got old faster than Rayleigh. I kinda pity him, yoi. Of course he has Shanks for a captain, so I really pity him.

[Snarky bastard. Marco that is, not Shanks.]

[get laid is what Marco really means. But Thatch is starting to feel exhausted from it all]

One step at a time, sweetheart. [he rests his chin on Marco's shoulder and sees the happy tail swishes--though feels more than sees. A content Marco s a beautiful thing]

And noone is surprised at Beckman. Hell, he was graying the last time I met him. [but he didn't want to talk about Shanks or Beckman or anyone else right now. Though he would have to--and thinking of that--]

Listen... [he knuckled a hand along Marco's spine to massage and smooth] I need to know your boundaries, aye? For Grell. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you [he'd better] but I don't want you going off on me again. One splitting headache is enough. [it was't that bad. But he could feel it start to throb at the base of his temple]

Edited 2013-07-11 14:12 (UTC)

Aye, that's true.

[He freezes and tilts his head. He has to think a little.]

[He curls his tail around his bro comfortingly and kisses Thatch's head to make it feel better.] All joking aside, I think that was what ticked me off more believe it or not. You usually get my weird as hell metaphors and for it to go that far.... [Waves his hands. Both of them.]

If you both... want something... just about anything, that's okay, eh? But I'm not going to... order you to sleep with my wife. I'm fucked up, I'm not that fucked up. [Rubs both his own temples.] Just try to be nice to her, all right?

[Gently holds Thatch's head on either side.] If you're both happy, I'll be happy. If you have an affair though, either don't tell me about it, or just invite me for threesomes. Or a show. [Rubs the back of his neck and grins softly.] Man, I really am messed up, eh?

[Back to phoenix whistling as he glances away.] I don't know, yoi. I need to talk to Grell and find out how far I'm allowed too.

[And human speak again.] If you flirt or do your normal things, I be fazed, eh? Especially if that's been part of the tension between you. I love you both. And I know it's difficult to figure out how to share my time, so find a way to work it out. I'll ask her to go easy on you too. If you decide to try something bold. She's not all violence and --

[Fixes him with a look.]

You know by nectar I just meant her sweet side, right? Not her --

What the hell, Thatch?

Talk to her. Jeez. Verbal communication is supposed to be my weakness, not yours.

She's not as savvy in verbal mindgames as you or me or Rayleigh, but she's not an idiot. Do you really think I'd marry someone just for them being violent? I trust her. That includes how much I trust her to protect my family. You're one of the most important people in existence to me, eh? She knows. She knows more than anyone how much I missed you, all right? I'm not asking you to instantly trust her too, or to instantly be friends, or family, or even nakama, but that trust? That family thing? It's not going to happen if you avoid her.

If the only way you two get along is by fighting and sex, I'll take it. At least it's communicating. At least it's trying, eh? I'm not going to tell you to screw my wife, and if you do come to the arbitrary conclusion that you both want that, then I want to be there. But I meant for you to talk to her.

Idiot.

Yeah sorry. [because in retrospect... He rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. And then crosses an arm over it. He's so damn tired] It's been a long long long...night--week--everything. Just the first thing that popped into my head but I should have thought about it better. Forgive me, eh? Your Thatch is pretty messed up in the head right now.

Sorry for freaking you out and being a jerk about everything. To the people you care about most. But I'll make it better. I'll bring everyone together, more than they already are. I'll be-- [he smiles a little]-- just like I'm supposed to be but better. I swear it.

Backdated to the weekend Beach Party and Birthday Log! \o/

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