concoursec | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Character(s): Leo (

ishisfriend), Elliot Nightray (

isntyourfriend)
Location: Dorm A219
Rating: G. Maybe PG if it descends into uh, furniture throwing.
Open/Closed/Finished: Closed.
Summary: There are times when one must apologise.

Swimming has been a rather dismal affair- Leo had not been too tired to notice that some of the other students had seemed more sluggish than usual but that had been more of an observation. He was more concerned about what he had to do after the class was over- which basically was the reason why he was standing outside Dorm A219 now.

He had, after all, told Elliot that a gentleman should never behave more difficult (than was expected; he wasn't worried about Elliot being a pushover because well, Elliot tended to be the type to shove others, not the other way round) and it would be hypocritical of him to not listen to his own advice. After all, the event from this afternoon was his fault, even if he wasn't the one who'd provided the shouting.

He sighed. Things must be done, bridges had to be mended. Knock knock.

"Elliot? It's me, Leo."

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Elliot had been feeling restless ever since his failed confrontation with Leo. There were very few people Elliot could attempt to confront and fail, and Leo was definitely one of those people.

But he'd yelled, and he'd come so close to hitting his servant in the face, and yet... He hadn't done it at all, because Leo's silence bothered him a little too much. It was for that reason, though, that he was currently filled with some bottled-up anger. And it was for that reason that Elliot jumped when he heard that knock on the door.

...good thing no one saw that.

If it weren't Leo, he might not have opened that door. But it was, so he opened the door, crossing his arms. "What is it?"

Leo would've been surprised if Elliot had let the matter go- and by the looks of Elliot's face and that irritated tone, it would seem that he was spot-on. But that was to be expected, of course. He hadn't been particularly forthcoming with explanations.

He waited till another student, yawning, passed by him and was out of earshot before he spoke, his voice quiet.

"I'd like to speak to you. Is your dorm mate present?"

"He's not here," he replied sharply, and moved out of the way to let Leo in. Elliot usually wasn't so concerned with causing a scene, but he didn't know where this would go, and when it came to Leo, privacy was a good thing. He trusted him with anything and everything, after all, and even if he was annoyed with him beyond belief at the moment, nothing had truly changed.

Once he had closed the door behind him, however, Elliot went straight to his room. Well, it wasn't his room - he still didn't feel comfortable in this place, but it was the closest thing to it.

Leo chose to ignore the Mess^TM in Elliot's room (apparently, not attending to his duties for two days would have such...messy repuercussions. Then again, he probably should have foreseen that) as he closed the room's door behind him. His hair, still wet from the swimming session, obscured his view a little, but he made no move to brush it away.

He sighed. "About our conversation earlier..."

Elliot would ignore it also - the mess might have bothered him a bit more if there weren't more pressing matters on his mind. (Of course, even then, it wasn't as if he had to say anything. He hadn't even asked Leo to take care of his room in the first place, though it was obviously a smart decision to do so anyway on his servant's part.)

"What about it?" It was obvious that this was what he wanted to talk about, but Elliot didn't have anything else to say on the matter. In fact, it would be kind of nice if Leo actually said something for once.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have provoked you like that," he admitted. "It wasn't very mature of me."

Of course, he had conveniently left out the reasons behind the whole confrontation in the first place- he didn't see any need for Elliot to be in the know. After all, who would want to hear about nightmares where their head was sitting gruesomely on top of the sword they cherished the most?

Sometimes, it was easier just to keep quiet.

"I don't care about that," Elliot snapped. Well, the truth was that he very much did - he'd spent enough time in this stupid place without Leo at all, and for them to stop speaking now would be nothing but trouble. He did care that Leo chose to seek him out and apologize because they both knew he was too stubborn to do it himself. It was very important to him, but what still bothered him the most was that something was bothering Leo and he refused to tell him.

But anything he could say would only result in him repeating his words from earlier. He sat down on his bed, a gloved hand clutching the sheets. He was still very annoyed by all of this.

"Ah," he replied, a mirthless smile on his face. Two years, and he'd already learnt to read Elliot's body language like he'd known him for years. Then again, Elliot had never been particularly...subtle. "I don't suppose that would suffice...?"

How would he put this? To tell Elliot that he too, was having nightmares? Elliot wouldn't leave it at that, not when the boy had told Leo about the contents of his own nightmares- no. No, that wouldn't do. A lie, perhaps? Leo had never been very well-versed at lying; a little white lie here and there to maintain the guise that everything was peachy was manageable, but he couldn't foresee how this would be just another one of those. Besides, if he could help it, he didn't want to lose Elliot's trust...and friendship just of yet, if at all.

Such tiresome things, truths and lies. But this pause had stretched on far longer than it should have.

"You're damn right it won't," he said, though he didn't look at him as he spoke. Now that he thought about it, what was he expecting from all of this? Leo had been so firm about it earlier, and Elliot didn't think he was just going to change his mind and speak up now - that wasn't like him at all. Maybe if he'd just told him why... but would that be satisfying enough? Elliot didn't know, either. It was just so rare that he actually had to deal with things like this.

Elliot sat there and tried to think of what he wanted to say. There was no way he'd let Leo continue on in silence - he had to say something to him. Anything.

Well, this was an impasse. The smile (now more plastic) didn't leave Leo's face as he shifted the focus of his gaze to a spot in the wall behind Elliot.

"Well," he replied, still willing himself not to yawn. The class had been rather tiring. "Then I'm afraid I won't be able to comply."

And that response would instantly snap Elliot out of his thoughts. He let go of the sheets on his bed and looked over at the other boy. Just... what?

"Excuse me?" he said, though Leo's words hardly needed repeating. Why did he have to choose now, of all times, to act like this? He probably shouldn't have let him in.

"How do I put this..." Leo murmured, tilting his head slightly, letting his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose. A little sigh, and he clasped his hands in front of him. "I did come to apologise, and that's what'll I do."

This was dangerous ground. He'd have to tread carefully.

He shifted his gaze from that spot on the wall to Elliot now, creating eye contact as his own smile faded. "But I don't feel like I'm ready to share my reasons just yet."

Elliot had been ready to get up and push his servant into a wall or something for his last comment, but this confused him even more. It still didn't make sense to him. Why was he having such difficulties talking to Leo suddenly? Something was wrong - it had to be, but...

"What do you mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at his servant. Asking the way he had earlier had gotten them nowhere, but his patience had already been worn thin (not that this was a hard task to accomplish, of course).

What? Leo could have laughed at that response- really, Elliot, hadn't he taught you to be more eloquent? Was that meant to be a rhetorical question? He chuckled, his voice hollow.

"Surely you understand?" he replied.

Whatever Elliot had been holding back - his anger, his confusion, everything - had become too much for him then. It was like Leo was mocking him, and in a situation like this, where Elliot genuinely didn't understand, he couldn't just stand there and pretend that it was nothing.

"What do you think?" he said, standing up and reaching for his shirt again much like he had earlier. He had every intention of hitting him this time - he'd simply had enough of all this. "I don't understand, because you won't explain. You don't have to share your reasons now. I don't care about that! But at least tell me why you can't. Is that really so hard?"

Leo inhaled forcefully as the front of his shirt was yanked. What...? He'd made a clear point, hadn't he? Elliot of all people should understand- after all, he'd never been forthcoming when it came to telling others about his nightmares. What was he on about now?!

"Then perhaps you should try to understand," he hissed, reaching up a hand to attempt to pull away the offending hand on his shirt. "That the reason I can't is because Elliot doesn't need to know."

"You..." he started, but his voice trailed off. Elliot tried to tighten his grip on Leo's shirt, but somehow, he felt weak. Maybe that sudden dizzy spell hadn't helped (and he winced when it hit), but what Leo said just now... This was all because of him? He still didn't understand - how could there be something he didn't need to know when it came to his servant? Most people likely wouldn't care about that sort of thing, but he did.

No, he still didn't understand, and it was hardly a satisfying answer, but he let go of Leo's shirt and he sat down on the bed again. It was probably his turn to apologize, wasn't it?

Leo could only watch mutedly as Elliot fell back to his previous sitting position on the bed, speechless. It was hard for one to read Leo's exact expression then- it was, after all, an odd mishmash between relief, concern, worry, maybe...terror. In fact, it wouldn't be too far to say that the boy had just exchanged his physical stability for his mental surety at that moment.

Certainly, he'd been expecting yelling for his own impudent reply (which probably could have been phrased better, now that he thought about it), maybe violence- it was hard to tell when one was dealing with Elliot. But he hadn't been expecting...silence. Silence didn't suit Elliot, and it actually frightened him when Elliot was so quiet, especially in these kinds of situations.

A pregnant pause filled the room. If things weren't awkward before, they were now.

...damn it. How had he allowed things to snowball to this? And that wince- don't think he had for a moment missed that. There wasn't anyone in this school who knew his master's tics as well as this servant did.

"Elliot..."

"What?" Elliot asked, his tone suggesting that it was completely obvious what he was thinking. "You gave me your answer."

That was the closest thing to an apology that he could really manage. He wouldn't press the issue any further; he wouldn't even bother to bring it up again. He still didn't get it, but he was going to try. Well, he still would have liked to hit something, of course, but he probably didn't have the energy for that anymore anyway.

"But listen," he said, his voice surprisingly level for all that had happened this afternoon. "Just because I don't need to know doesn't mean I don't want to know. If something's bothering you, you shouldn't keep it to yourself. You're my servant, aren't you?"

He didn't expect him to respond to that, though. It didn't matter if that's how he felt, because he knew it wouldn't change Leo's own response. Maybe he really only said it for his own benefit, and nothing more.

If there had been any shred of calmness left in Leo, it had just flown out of the window. The look of surprise on his face was blatant, genuine and he'd had to try a few times before he could finally speak.

"Of course," he murmured, not entirely sure if he was agreeing to Elliot's question or his earlier answer. "Of course."

This was confusing. On one hand, he should be glad that Elliot was maturing enough to let things go and that he'd gotten off without having to explain himself, but this, this...wasn't how he wanted it to be. Well, it was but not in this manner. Why was...? Had he missed something...?

He didn't know any more.

Fists clenched in frustration behind his back, he swallowed, wearing once again that wane smile that had become increasingly common this evening. "Well then. Since we've reached an agreement, I'll take my leave."

...and just in case that that brought along an extra set of problems, he added, "There's a bit of writing that I have to do."

Elliot didn't notice the confused look on his servant's face, however. After he'd said what he had to say, he busied himself with taking off his jacket and his gloves and getting ready to lay down for a while.

He hadn't exactly wanted Leo to leave, either, but it was different from when he'd been avoiding him before. Leo could deny it all he wanted, but Elliot knew that he'd been avoiding him. It still made him angry, certainly, but this was different from that. "I won't ask you to stay," he said with a shake of his head, which basically meant that yes, he could go, and Elliot wouldn't even argue about it.

It was a lot to think about, and truthfully, he didn't want to think about it now. He didn't like that the other boy chose to stay silent over whatever it was that was bothering him, but he had to try to understand - that was the most important thing he could do for him right now.

Leo could only manage a mute nod at that dismissal. He thought...no, he knew that he just needed to sit somewhere and think this through logically. Or just...clear his mind, whichever. As long as he left this room, that was fine.

Opening the door, he made to leave but paused. "Get some rest," he uttered, his tone low in case Elliot's dorm mate had returned without them noticing. "You don't look too well."

He shut the door behind him before he left.

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