concoursec | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Character(s):

watertides
Location: Zuko's dorm
Rating: Uh. PG?
Open/Closed/Finished: Closed
Summary: Hours after this. Katara goes to speak with Zuko about what was left unfinished in Home EC.

It was just after dinnertime. Zuko had left the Home Ec. class early with permission from his Instructor. He had finished his gardening project and had promised his teacher he would revise his notes after his physical therapy session with Dr. Kadowaki. His schedule had looked something like this: Home Ec, physical therapy with the doctor for an hour and a half, a walk to the showers and then to the Cafeteria to grab some food, then a walk back to his room where his tray of food sat untouched on the table.

The words exchanged with the waterbender earlier had left a sour taste in his mouth and his stomach churning. He had practically accused her of being no better than Ozai, something he shouldn't have done. Zuko knew she was a good person deep down. Well, he didn't know but he had a pretty good feeling considering she'd been there to take care of him and help with the pain most of the beginning he was on the mend.

It wasn't easy to find the words to explain his thoughts properly. Not to her.

Golden eyes opened to glare at the five thick candles that sat in front of him on a low table. He was trying to meditate, a towel rolled up to hang around his neck, his hair still wet from his shower. It was frustrating, how his thoughts were distracting him from being able to find peace in the simple act of meditation.

"Why isn't this working...?!" he then growled out, jaw clenching. The flames on each of them rose a little higher, flickered, and then lowered again.

Zuko exhaled, irritated, and closed his eyes to try again.

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Katara remained quiet as her hand easily massaged at his shoulder-- while healing was beneficial to the patient, it was also a bit calming for herself as well. It required her to settle in a state of peace to properly direct the flow of chi. She tried to convince herself that was the only reason why she felt a bit more at being so close to Zuko now, and why they weren't in the middle of another heated argument like they always were.

She sneaked glances upwards every now and then, but just as quickly her eyes would dart back down, not wanting to be caught looking at him.

The silence between them dragged on.

Zuko kept to it regardless of how awkward it felt. Yet as awkward as it felt, it was a comfortable sort of silence as well.

Glancing down briefly since neither of them were talking he caught her looking at him, and blinked. "...What is it..?" he asked somewhat hesitantly, leaning his head back slightly to get a better look at her.

Of course, he had to have caught her looking. Her eyes shifted downward again, and she let a silence settle between them before she finally spoke.

"I shouldn't be this nice to you, you know."

"And I should probably be beating you into the ground with fire. Or at least kicking you out of my room," he answered, rolling his eyes. "But I'm not. Why is that?"

His eyes stayed focused on her face, watching her.

Katara rolled her own eyes at his words. "As if you would succeed in doing that."

The question he posed silenced her, though, and after a moment she finally lifted her eyes to meet his. The expression she wore was slightly troubled, and there was also a flicker of confusion though she tried her best to hide it all behind a poor mask of indifference.

"I don't know." She gave a shrug. "Maybe the Time Compression did something to us." It was a half-heart attempted at a joke.

Zuko didn't buy the joke, nor did he respond to it. He was sick of everyone using the 'Time Compression' as a reason for everything. It seemed too easy, to blame something that no one really understood.

"I thought you came here to 'talk'," he pointed out after several moments of silence, meeting her gaze.

"Right." And with that, Katara drew her hand away from his shoulder, crossing her arms over her chest but not before bending the water back into the cup. She took a step back to put some space between them now that she didn't need to be in such close proximity with Zuko.

"You don't really think I'm like your father, do you?" She tried her best to sound strong with her question, though there was an underlying uncertainty in her words.

He sighed to himself and glanced away for a moment, then looked back to her. "I don't know what to think."

For some reason, his uncertainty made something inside her flare. Zuko should know that she was nothing like that monster-- it shouldn't even be something he needs to question!

"But I was the one who trusted you first-- I was the one who offered to heal you! You were the one who betrayed me; I shouldn't even have to be justifying myself to you."

"I already told you I don't expect you to understand!" he snapped back, his own temper sparking at her outburst and causing the candles to come to life, their small flames flickering. "You of all people-- you who is undoubtedly a good person deep down and caring enough that you would actually help your enemy-- I'm not saying you should be justifying yourself.

"You lashed out for the same reasons he did. And I get that."

"What is it that I don't understand? I can't understand if you don't tell me what I'm not getting!" She hated it when people expected her to be able to just read between the lines-- how was she supposed to help if she didn't know what was wrong?

And most of all, why did she even want to help?

Katara cast the thought aside though, and instead looked up at Zuko with a stern expression.

"Punishment," Zuko all but growled, hands balling into fists at his sides, not once looking away from her 'stern' expression.

The word seemed to stretch out between them, filling the tense silence. Realization soon dawned on Katara, and when she did she looked up at Zuko her eyes were soft, her brows furrowed slightly.

"He scarred you as punishment...?"

"For speaking without thinking." He gave a curt nod, his eyes guarded and hard. Always the complete opposite as her.

"What happened?" The question was asked before Katara realized it, and once it was out in the open she couldn't help but look surprised as well. But she shifted her gaze downward soon after. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

Zuko was also pretty surprised at the abrupt question.

He stared down at her, silent for a few moments, and then tore his gaze away to the side. "There was a war meeting with the generals years ago," he began to explain, his voice going quiet. "I was too young to attend, but I insisted that my uncle let me with the idea that if I'm to rule the Fire Nation one day, I should prepare early, and he did. Under the condition that I keep quiet."

Edited 2010-09-07 23:31 (UTC)

Katara had expected Zuko to demand that she'd leave, so she was plenty surprised when he began to tell her about the fateful event. She lifted her eyes to look up at him, her head giving a small nod every now and then to indicate she was listening to his every word.

"And then...?"

His mood and look, if possible, darkened.

"One of the generals spoke of using one of the newer divisions as a sacrifice against the Earth Kingdom. I wasn't lying when I said I had been naive and stupid, Katara. I did what my uncle had warned me not to do - I spoke out against the General and his plan, demanding to know why he would betray them by using them as bait that way. My words alone were considered treason; I had disrespected the General and through disrespecting him, I had disrespected my own father."

Again his gaze drifted off to the side, lowering to the floor between them as he recalled the memory and his feelings all those years ago.

"I was arrogant and ignorant. An Agni Kai was issued. I told the General I wasn't afraid. Days later I was in the arena, back to back with him. My sister and my uncle stood in the crowds; everyone was present. The gong was hit and it was time to rise and face each other.

"I was prepared. I was more than prepared. I was ready to prove myself not just to my father but to everyone there. The man at the other end of the arena wasn't the General; it was my father..."

Edited 2010-09-08 00:30 (UTC)

"But you were only looking out for your people!" Katara couldn't believe what she was hearing-- she had always considered the Fire Nation to be a cruel country, but somehow this was a horror she hadn't even considered possible. "They shouldn't be treated as pawns-- just because they're soldiers doesn't mean that their lives are invaluable. You had every right to protest against their plans!

Your father should have defended you." Her words were almost a whisper now. "He shouldn't have punished you for showing compassion."

Zuko shook his head and his eyes met hers. She looked horrified. He didn't blame her.

"My father and I are completely different people. He believes to show emotion is to show weakness. In the Fire Nation, there's no room for either. I know him - he would have been more than willing to use the soldiers as bait to further his plans."

"Well, I'm glad you're different from your father-- he sounds like a cruel man." But then a thought crosses her mind, one that she's hesitant to vocalize but she can't help. "And even after all that, you still want to go back? You still want to capture Aang for his approval?"

Of course he hadn't expected her to understand.

"When my father stripped me of my title, he also stripped me of my honor. In order for me to regain it all back, the Avatar was needed. I give my father the Avatar and in return he gives me back all that he'd taken from me."

"And the next time your father has plans to kill off his troops for a meaningless war, you'll just stand by and watch it happen? You won't stand up to him again? You'll let your people die?" Her fingers were curling to fists at her side. Why was it so hard to him understand the right thing to do?

Because he's confused. He's mad about being confused, and it's all because he doesn't know what's right from wrong anymore. It's something his father's to blame for, again, having pushed Zuko to such boundaries by turning against him and forcing him into exile, making him the impression that everything cruel and wrong is, in reality, right.

"Of course not!" he suddenly shouts at her, her words striking a nerve. The flames at the candles spike dangerously high behind him. "You think because I look like this- because I look like a monster- that I am one?"

Zuko points to his left cheek, nostrils flaring with his heavy breathing.

"I am not my father, Katara."

And for once, Zuko's shouting didn't anger her-- in fact, Katara seemed rather pleased with his reaction. Her expression softened and her fingers uncurled at her sides as her anger slowly dissipated, the tension in her shoulders evaporating as they slumped down.

"I know." Katara said quietly. Her eyes shifted downward for a moment as she tried to find the right words to say. "But your words can only mean so much. You need to show me-- show us that you really mean it."

Her gaze rose to meet his.

"You have to stop hunting after Aang."